No, Really, You Might Be That Different

There are various Outlier positions on the bell curve.  Some folk are Outlier enough to be quicker and  perhaps more thorough than the neurotypical, but can still see "normal" from their position.

This means their brains and habits are probably excellent at communication or blending in.  This has been termed Optimal Intelligence--one can relate enough to the majority of humans while still having that spark of genius that they can pull out in work, etc.

Then there are those farther out on the bell curve.  They cannot see the village of normal where they are.  Their mannerisms, thought processes, perceptions, and even "5 senses input" may be completely different from the experience of the neurotypical.

Let me restate this as it is often glossed over:  Truly the neurotypical may not have, not just the ability but the CAPABILITY to understand.  It is like trying to convince a cat to fly.  The equipment just isn't there. So many of us bang our heads against walls that the neurotypical can't see.

This is not a moral failing or deficiency on their part.--We are requesting accommodations for things they can't imagine.

This is not a superiority on our part.--Remember, we didn't choose or work our way to the far side of the bell curve, we just were put there.  It is foolish to be arrogant with what we had no part in earning.

But this does mean we have some hurdles.  How can we convince bosses to take steps that literally make no sense to them?  How do we help people understand that the noise really is painful or that xyz really is an injustice?  How do we learn to work with people, identifying their limits, so that we can get what we need without taking away what they need?  When will we understand that we will have to make our own way for ourselves, our family, for fellow Outliers, instead of waiting for others to validate us?

Those are questions we need to explore--feel free to post your experiences or tips.  But in the meantime, look around you (if you are the Outlier) or look at the situation of your spouse or friend or child if they are, and analyze what you see.  Look at what neurotypical folk just can't understand.  Look at the ones who might be neurotypical but have an acute sense of empathy or sensitivity or talent that can understand part of you anyway (OR, even better--one that you do not have.  Massive IQ does not mean massive EQ).  Look at those who are threatened by your Outliership (I find that sometimes it is not the simple who have the most trouble with feeling threatened by Outliers but those who can see the glow to the west, as it were, and know enough to know they aren't there)--we can discuss what to do with a threatened person soon.

The more you understand your position and the position of those around you, the more you can work toward a more fulfilling life for you and those around you.