A Thought Of Genius

"She often exhausted me in that ‘After party slump’ way of interesting overstimulation. She was like a kindergarten Kierkegaard-- Plato and playdough, rolled into one.  She was always bouncing from task to project, delighted in fireflies and sparkly shiny things. Terrified of wasps but careless with snakes. She was oblivious regarding the expected mores and habits of a woman her age, though she did try--I saw her paint her nails with the meticulous, tongue-out precision of a child, then immediately smudge them on the cat. She spoke fast and laughed with her head back in unashamed display. 

Then, suddenly, she would pause, perfectly still. Some faint siren from a distant deeper universe would captivate her and she would drink deeply of it. "Do you believe in entelechy?" she would say at last with a thoughtful voice. "Do you think that is a mandate from God? Is the purpose OF life to determine our purpose IN life or is that just a construct of ambitious people?" I say nothing as a moment of general relativity would pass--a few seconds for me, but miles of deep contemplation for her, as if she walked down a well and back out in the same time in which I took my next two steps. I had learned to measure my drinking in of her as her life flowed and crashed against mine.

"Our math is wrong" she would sigh. "It is limited in dimension. It is just the representation of a thing. And we act as if it is the thing, is fundamental, accurate enough to base our understanding of God and the universe in. We are fools trying to eat a painting of an apple." and the weariness of it would weigh her shoulders down. I would nod in generous encouragement at her statement, wondering if she was more mad than genius. She was a mobius strip made of mirror and you never knew if she was climbing to a moment of excellence or was sliding back, weeping and weak, to the bottom of the glass.  Her thoughts and life reflected on itself in infinite loops that went miles but nowhere, but the speed at which it moved often generated a warm energy that we could harness for our own uses.

Every experience was weighted in time and meaning, and instinct was more profane to her than any language of a sailor. Actions taken without consideration were an abomination, and she often tilted at the windmills of those who worked solely from brutish desire.

Once a man said "She handled crisis better than she handles her daily life" and he was spot on. 'Woman, thy name is Dichotomy' I chastised her lightly: the patterns she saw and the disorder she lived in, the silliness of a child and the thoughts of a sage, the taste of the heroic but the life of the mundane. A loving wife and a horrible housekeeper. Broken but unbreakable.  Saint and sinner.  Flashes of brilliance in a mediocre sky. She eyed the tornado calmly as a worthy adversary, but broke down if she couldn't find a shoe. The sight of a crushed butterfly dimmed the sun in her bizarre little world, but she had no fear of death--to her it was a shrugging off of an old shirt.

She was all potential energy and frustrated action until she walked, which she did with such quickness of stride that even her teenage son had trouble keeping up with her. She was always trying to fit into the world in some way, through some work or job or habit, but I wondered if maybe she belonged to that vast inner dimension that sang to her--the only place that would make her still and calm and be.

I felt sorry for her.  In the end she was just a book—ragged and stained and crumpled and holding a story within her that she never was.

Has This Really Not Happened Yet?

Read a fb post regarding asynchronous Outlier kids (which is rather redundant, tbh).

Has there been any research comparing apples to apples--Outlier to Outlier?  A hummingbird and a parrot are both birds but the parrot would be terribly asynchronous compared to a hummingbird.  It is ridiculous to try to fit a parrot into a hummingbird mold.

Or, consider, if you will, comparing abdominal pain in a female to that of a male.  Yes, both human.  Same digestive system.  Then things get weird.  "Ma'am, your testosterone levels seem to have asynchronous development compared to Bob here.  And WHY do you have an upside down pear with deely boppers hanging from the top of it in your abdomen?".

Anyone with pull in research departments, get on this.  The most obvious way to know if something is broken is to compare it to the same item, not 'kinda like but not really" items.  Perhaps Outliers aren't broken.  Perhaps they are not asynchronous.  Perhaps they are exactly on time and developing exactly as they should be.

When we find Outliers who are not developing the same as other Outliers, then we will, hopefully, get enough data to identify Outliers who are at risk for various mental or emotional problems or are 2E or on the spectrum, etc.

The War On Girls

Well, here is a problem....

What is fair? That the boy who self identifies as a girl gets to compete for girls' scholarships in an essentially open field?

How about we just tell the girls "Not only are you forced to expose yourself in front of boys and men and have no say in the matter, but we are also going to take away any chance you had to do well in your field because most men are physically stronger than most women even as teens.

How about we also make it so your only worth is in your boobs and face and how you can please and titillate boys and men? How about we interrogate a girl who was sexually assaulted and had to be rescued by two passerbys til she was dragged through the mud, then slap her assailant on the wrist (6 months in county jail and probation) because making him pay for the THREE FELONY COUNTS (for 30 years of sentence) that an actually jury said he did would cause a "severe impact" to the "champion swimmer". Yes, and lets post his race times in the news articles about the assault because that is OH so pertinent to the fact that he sexually assaulted an unconscious girl.

How about we call brilliant men 'absentminded professors' and call brilliant women 'ditzy'?

How about we call brooding or emotional men who paint 'tortured artists' and call brooding or emotional women who paint 'hysterical'? How about we ignore you when you are past your 'nubile' stage, turn you absolutely invisible? Unless you have a mouth like a sailor, then you get to be noticed again. Go watch a bunch of 7th graders play call of duty so you can brush up on your cussing.

How about we pay you less and if you are assertive (not a jerk, just calmly confident) we call you a b++++?

How about we test medications for you only on males? How about when you have a doctor's appointment, you have to bring your husband so the doctor does not automatically assume that you are just emotional and a hypochondriac? Oh and your husband needs to come to your daughter's appointments too for the same reason. Because it makes PERFECT sense that science class (which she was acing easily and had no stress about) would of COURSE cause an elevated platelet count.

Let's put "juicy" on their bums and sell thongs for little girls...need to start getting them comfortable exposing their body to every. single. pervert. In order to REALLY make it stick, though, we have to make the moms ashamed of everything they do and how they look so they can pass the insecurity down to their daughters. We can do this by making models in magazines digitally altered and airbrushed so that men and women think that is how real women look. Men will expect it and women can starve themselves....more food for the men.

Let's just grow up our girls on virtual sex schools where they can learn to pleasure males and forget dreams. We can teach them how to go from 14 to 21 in 20 minutes with make up. We will teach them how to hide their intellect so they blend in. We will teach them that their only worth is in facebook likes and turn a blind eye to cyber bullying.

And when any parent or girl tries to stand up for herself, let's call them "patriarchal" and "intolerant" and "prudish". We will shame the girls who wear dresses (they should be wearing short shorts and tank tops so that men can shop more easily). We will call parents who do not want their children dressing in front of men "fanatics" and "homophobes", even though we know that predators are gleeful with the new access to girls.

Let's just bail on girls altogether. They obviously only have one purpose, one use, and male desires--from a male who wants an easy way into a scholarship to an easy way to film naked underage girls--take precedence and dominance.

Oh that’s right, we already have. 

** Note, this is not against men--not at all. I am just as irritated with the women who encourage this nonsense from the super liberal legislator to the mom who thinks it's "cute" when her 5 year old daughter cusses. This is against progressives and neanderthals alike who have set up these unintended consequences, who feel without reason, who rage without cause, who demand without thought. This is against society and what we all, you and I, tolerate. This is against everyone, male and female, who fail to SEE, who fail to THINK. who fail to TEACH.

Much Too Much

You know that feeling when you are really nauseated--perhaps carsick or from a stomach bug?  You are just barely hanging on, trying to stay quiet and still so you don't throw up?

Or perhaps you have a migraine or are hungover and are just barely hanging on to your lunch and your sanity?

You know how every scent, sound, sight, touch is overwhelming and you just want to go somewhere cool and quiet and dark and still?

That is what it is like for an Outlier with OE's or an introvert who has been overstimulated, minus (sometimes) the nausea and pain.

Now imagine someone saying "Dude, stop being a baby.  You aren't that sick.  Just grab your bucket and come to the club!".  Besides wanting to punch them square in the nose, you also are determined to not deal with people.  You just want to recover in peace.

"Much Too Much"
Outliers are Outliers because their entire nervous system, from brain to tiny nerve in a toe, is attune to input and sensory data and works constantly, like a revving engine, to make and break and remake unique connections.  This means that it is easy, particularly if tired or ill or run down, to overwhelm the nervous system.  Just as how it is a lot more problem throwing a wrench into a gear that is going at 200rpm vs one going at 2rpm, one little "too much" (sight, sound, thought, movement, interaction) can send the Outlier into that "nauseated but not" feeling.

When the nervous system is overloaded, you just feel the need to escape, to go somewhere cool and quiet or warm and dark or whatever is most settling.  It is like how scents don't cause stomach flu, but when you have it, a single whiff can put you over the edge from in control to hugging the bowl.

This is not just an emotional need to escape, it is actually a physical need as well to settle and reorganize the neurons and sensations.   When your Outlier is overwhelmed or has been going all day and comes home and just needs a few minutes of quiet and alone, let him be.  Suggest music, a book, a walk outside, a hug--something that will allow them to regroup.    If your wife is an Outlier and has spent all day with children, she might need you suck up an hour with the kids (and chores--don't just plop in front of the tv and consider the fact that nothing was set on fire a win.  Put the dishes in the dishwasher or take 10 min to sweep the floor.  It is amazing how she will react to that to your favor) so she can get some quiet.

When the Outlier is an introvert, interactions with people, even via internet, will add to the burden on the nervous system.  Many extrovert Outliers do not seem to experience as much overload as introverts, but it still happens.

Some hints that your Outlier's nervous system is overwhelmed:
-Lashing out unreasonably
-Unexpected emotional outbursts
-General grouchiness
-Headaches
-Stomachaches
-A desire not to do pleasurable things (not meaning long term denial of pleasure)
-Communication changes (for example, a normal chatty Outlier suddenly talks in monosyllables)
-More time spent with headphones on or playing video games or in a book.
-Speaking more quietly (or loudly) than normal
-Off appetite or craving comfort foods.
-More obsessive or compulsive than normal for them.

Now, this does not excuse bad behaviour on anyone's part.  The Outlier has to be taught to manage their own overstimulation, just as anyone else has to.  Being overstimulated is not an excuse for an Outlier adult or child to be a jerk to others.  It is just as easy to say "I need a moment" as it is to have a tantrum.

However, young Outliers might not understand what is going on and parents can help them learn to recognize "too much".  Parents can also help Outliers learn how to stretch their tolerance:  overstimulation is not deadly or injurious, just uncomfortable.  Sometimes you just can't leave a situation because you want to.  Sometimes you just have to use internal calming techniques to manage.

The recharge period varies.  It could just be the length of time it takes to use the restroom to an entire day of rest.  We at TCG encourage one rest day (deliberate rest, no work, no catch up).  This day is used to physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually recharge.  The key is deliberate rest, not just "procrastinating".  Declaring a day and a plan for that day helps frame the rest without guilt.  It also provides a framework for being able to actually rest, much like how a vacation day is more restful than a day when someone is on call but is not called in.

It is like a boxer catching his breath in the corner between rounds--a little time now will keep him going further later.

Edison's Mom--A Champion

There is a heart-wrenching meme going around about Thomas Edison and his mom.  According to the meme, the boy was sent home with a letter addressed specifically to his mom.  She read it and with deep emotion told the boy that the school says that he is too smart for them, that they are too small to serve him and suggests that she school him at home.

Time passes, mom dies, and a now accomplished Edison finds the letter in her desk.  It actually said that he was "addled" and please do not send him to school anymore.  Overcome by emotion that his mother saw potential in him that the school didn't, he weeps for her.

The problem is that it is not true.  As sweet as this story is, the REAL story is better and is an encouragement to gifted kid moms and dads.  Mrs, Edison was not an emotional weeping mom who lies to her child, albeit for good intentions, that the story portrays.  Actually she is an iron fist in a velvet glove:  the mom knew that the school, particularly one instructor, was being a jerk.  She tried to work within the system, but when the school wouldn't budge, she took matters into her own hands, bucked the system, and educated him herself. Story Here

Isn't that a better example for gifted moms AND one that is more realistic to what moms of gifted kids go through?  You plow and fight tooth and nail against establishments and arrogance and ignorance.  Finally, you have had enough niceness and go up the chain to the district or switch schools, or homeschool because you are a determined, intelligent woman who is not going to let adult bullies push you and your child around.  YOU, moms, take control of your child's education, rejecting the easy route, and are your child's guardian, protector, champion, and instructor.

Now, this is not to belittle those who love the fake version of the story--everyone loves a good tear jerker.  I would just offer, respectfully, that a)truth is important at all costs and b)the truth here is a much better example of the common plight of the gifted child in educational settings that are inadequate.

The 4th Wall

In television, the camera location is often considered the 4th wall.  Sets usually have 3 walls and the camera would be on the 4th wall.  If a character addresses the audience, he is breaking the "4th wall".

The human has four "walls" as well:  physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual.

Now, many folk only acknowledge the walls they can "see"--body, emotions, thought.  However, they are missing the vital 4th wall--the spirit.

This morning I saw a reply to an FB page that said that religion is fake, basically.  It got me thinking about how to know that the spirit of man exists.  The Holy Spirit (the One who should know) simply flashed a situation in my mind of when there were three potential reactions that were battling in my mind during a crappy situation. 

One of them was my cognitive process--my reason.  It justified my anger--any reasonable person would have been.  The next was my emotional reaction--it was MAD and wanted to jerk a knot in someone's tail.  The third was my spirit which, in a clear, calm manner, reminded me of the best course of action, which was completely against what my mind and heart wanted.  It was a dissenting voice.

Now, someone might say that that was just a memorized pattern of "living right".  However, just as someone knows the difference between an emotional reaction and a thought or a physical reaction and an emotional reaction, or between the left foot and the right foot,  this was from within me and was not an auxiliary memory or cognition.  It was not my "will" (my emotions) or my reason, but was still a part of me.  There is a huge difference between "Gah, fine.  I have been taught to be nice" vs the part of me that dissented from my normal humanity and spoke clearly.

Here is the thing...if the spirit did not exist, then religions would not exist, at least to this extent.  It is not reasonable at all that so many millions of people throughout the ages all were afflicted with some sort of mild psychosis that just so happened to occur in disparate folk in disparate areas.  Do not let the scornful or afraid convince you that this was a normal reaction to seeing the moon because it isn't.  It would require too much creativity that also happened to manifest the EXACT same way in a group of people.

Plus, religion causes the body and mind to go against instincts.  The primitive cultures thrived on the instinctual.  It saved their bodies from danger.  To develop a religion that overrode instinct that they breathed every day requires something more than creativity.  No matter how fabulous a superhero I create in my head, I am still not going to jump off a building to test if I can fly.

The facts and observations are clear that there is something besides reason, instinct (body), and emotion going on in people.  Some people turn to Christ, some to trees as in the druids, some to allah, some to The Great Spirit....whatever name they put on it, there is something playing on a part of them that is not explained by thought or delusion.

Now, if we acknowledge that there is a spiritual aspect of a person, and we must, then it is a simple question of what to do with that.  When we know we have a brain, we think and learn.  When we know we have emotions, we love and hate.  When we know we have a body, we eat and sleep.  When we know we have a spirit, we worship and pray.

Someone might say "Well what about the people who claim not to have any spiritual side?"  Honestly, if you dig deeper into their thoughts, you will often find that they mistake spiritual action for cognitive action (in fact, one might often hear them speak of "conscience" or "moral code").

Usually, though, the reason they are balking is because of the "Anything But God" effect.  You find this most in intellectuals, especially scientists.  Their loud calls and derision of "Anything but God" actually betrays them.  No one ever says "Anything But Santa!" or "Anything But the Tooth Fairy!".  No one is threatened by the idea of a tooth fairy.  Even if millions of people started "believing" in the tooth fairy, those Anything But God intellectuals would not bat an eye because they are not threatened by the idea of something they KNOW is false.

The spirit of man is the 4th wall.  Without getting mystical, it is a different part of man than heart or mind or body.  In fact, the spiritual part can cause a person to override his desires and instincts for self protection and even what seems "reasonable" (like turning the other cheek instead of raising your other fist).  It is active and grows more active with use.  It can be influenced by good or bad spiritual input, just as the mind, the body, and the emotions can be.

We would offer that it is vital for the Outlier (and everyone else) to not neglect their 4th wall.  It's presence is manifest, but easy to ignore. It is also vital not to allow oneself to be influenced by those who are acting in fear or scorn or ignorance about the facets of their own existence.