The Long Dark Teatime Of The Soul

We want to tread carefully here.  Understand that this is one perspective from someone who is not a licensed psychologist but who has experienced existential depression, as most, if not all, Outliers have. 

If you are depressed for whatever reason, please seek help.  It is not in my power to evaluate you.



Douglas Adams pegged, if unintentionally, the feeling of existential depression with the title of his book "The Long, Dark Teatime Of The Soul".  Unlike demoralization from a traumatic event ("No, really, that sucks.") or regular, anger turned inward depression ("There is nothing really wrong with my life.....I just don't feel happy and everything aches"), existential depression is more like understanding the enormity of existence and what falls short in it and not working toward a goal.  It is like a mid life crisis that can hit as early as age 4 and sometimes every. freaking. year.  after that.

But the good thing is that, unlike a death in the family, which you cannot change, or depression that has no apparent cause, existential depression has both cause and cure.  But we have to work for it.

Consider the Star Trek Voyager episode Latent Image.  The Doctor had to choose which life of two critically injured crewmen he would save.  Both had the same chance of living if he tried to save them, both were certainly going to die if he did not attend them.  When he made a choice, he knew it was choosing to let the other crewmate die.

This created a feedback loop between his cognitive and ethical subroutines. He spun himself into the ground.  Twice Janeway ordered his memory erased but then realized that perhaps he needed to walk through this process.

The thing about Outliers is that we see so much.  We understand much.  Our brains can hold much.  We often can see how things can be better, but we also often can see the failures in ourselves and in the world.  When our "cognitive subroutine" ('We/people/the world can do so much better') meets our "ethical subroutine" ('We need to do something, but what?  How can we fix everything that is wrong?  Where do we start?  What do I choose as a career?  Am I making a difference?  Why won't people just stop being jerks to their dogs?', etc)  we end up in a tailspin of stress and drama.

Here are a few tips for getting out of existential depression:
1)  Realize the world is not going to be perfect, but a lot of it is good, beautiful, even excellent.  It is right to focus on the good, the beautiful, the honorable, the excellent...it's even in the Bible.  It literally adjusts the chemicals in your brain so that you have gumption and clear thinking to fix the rest.  You know how it is:  if you are in a good mood, you will try and work.  When you are in a bad mood, you just want to veg and eat.  Keep yourself in a good mental place so that you can work the problem.

2)  Realize that your perfectionism is trying to force a round peg in a million square holes.  You do not have to fix everything.  You are not even supposed to.  No, really.  You are not supposed to fix everything.  It is illogical to even consider that, but it is hard when we see suffering not to want to go be everybody's everything.  But that is a job reserved only for God. 

Now that we don't have to be perfect, we can be good.

3)  Realize that difficulties often make people stronger.  You are stronger for the trials you have had, not because you had everything perfectly.  What this means is that if something cannot be fixed right then, let the Lord do the work and just be a good support buddy.

4)  Realize that the Lord knows what is going on and has everything under control.

5)  Realize that you have a sphere of influence and it is not the size of the Earth.  Or even a county.  Or even a city block.  You do not have to fix everything, and especially not today.  Your purpose is to love God and love people.  Every task, hobby, goal, thought, supper, etc should be focused on those two purposes with thankfulness, trust, rational thought, and love.

6)  Don't dismiss the Butterfly Effect:  you have more influence than you know.  I know a woman who bakes and took a loaf of bread to a friend, just because.  Many years later, that friend mentioned that that small gesture inspired her to bake bread and take it to a new neighbor.  Now, I don't know if that new neighbor carried on the tradition or not.  What I know is that one woman's offhand deed, not meant to be "SPECIAL" or "EPIC" or "ASTOUNDING" rippled through at least two families.  If you have any interest in theoretical physics of time and action within time, just stop for a moment and imagine the pattern of acts of love and goodness and kindness rippling through the universe.

7) Realize that you are not the only thread in the cloth, the only ant in the hill, the only star in the constellation.  You are one of a group of humanity--do what you can and encourage others to do what they can and that will be good work.

8)  "To See The Need Is To Hear The Call"--but only if you have the ability to do so.  I would love to, for example:  stop sex trafficking, eliminate cheating in the NFL, keep my neighbors from scrapping, feed the hungry in my community, and assist all Outliers everywhere. 

Now, in each of those, I have varying levels of influence.  I pray for my neighbors and if I can catch him sometime when things are cool, I can strike up a conversation.  I can learn about sex trafficking, but since I don't travel or are places where I would be on the scene where I could rescue anyone, I can donate to those who are working the problem.  I can't do much about the NFL cheating except not support those teams.  For the hungry, I can join the Society of St Andrew, which gleans fields for food for the hungry, and I can donate at the store when asked.   I can write this blog and hope Outliers are led here and are assisted. 

So make a list of the most important problems to solve and decide what you can do.  Assign your work a number value.  For example, I can only give about a 0.3 to the NFL thing.  But I can give a good, solid 5 to the hungry and an 8 or more to helping other Outliers.  This will help you see that your work matters.

9)  See if your problem is more centered on self--not as far in your career, not as famous, not as rich or whatever.  In that case, it really helps to look at the big picture of what your purpose on earth is.  Is it actually to "be famous"?  Or is it to do good work?  Who are you trying to impress, and is it the right person?


If you are overwhelmed with the enormity of everything on earth that is wrong, you of course will get depressed.  Only the most clueless or heartless wouldn't.  The thing is to use that long, dark, teatime to think, to pray, then to DO.