Drive The Ferrari

This post is for Outliers and parents of Outliers alike.  Outliers of all ages will most likely run into the excruciating boredom of school, work, life at some point.  How one handles these challenges will mean the difference between blast off and burn out.

Parents, I want to speak to you for a sec.  If you have an Outlier child in public school, you probably have noticed that they are not challenged.  They might "forget" to do their homework, complain that what they are learning is "dumb", they might act out or hate to go to school. 

If you go to the school and try to get your child advanced in grade level, you will almost certainly be met with resistance.  "Needs to be with his agemates" or "needs to learn social skills" or "we don't do that here" is often refrained by authorities at school.

Right now I am not going to get into getting an IEP or whatever--a mother who has gotten one for her child would be in a much better position to walk you through.

However, I did want to let you know what is going on in that mind of your child (or yours, if you are an Outlier) when it is not given all the input it can eat.  If you are tempted to let your child flounder in a class of those far below him, understand that this is what you are asking him to endure...

The mind of the genius is a powerful machine.  It requires massive quantities of materials for it to perform properly.

The child genius who acts out in boredom and disrupts the classroom, the teen genius who delves into experimentation of maladaptive behaviors such as drugs, the adult genius who descends into moroseness, is 'et up by anxiety and panic, or indulges in mischief  to get a mental high are all examples of a genius mind that is not getting the fuel that it needs.

Make no mistake.  The brain WILL think.  The brain of a genius almost never has any downtime.  It is a Ferrari with a permanently stuck gas pedal.  Now, that car, given suitable fuel, oil, and direction will perform like a modern wonder, hugging the most complicated curves, and racing far ahead of other cars.

However, the Ferrari which is put on blocks in a garage, engine revving without fluids, will seize and burn itself up.  Unable to take in fresh air, it will choke on its own exhaust.  It will fail to live to its purpose and spend its time quaking in its repressed, but highly charged, state.

I cannot repeat this enough:  You cannot slow down the mind of the genius.  You cannot tell it to stop thinking.  You cannot make it be “normal”.  You cannot change a Ferrari into a minivan.

Yes, the Ferrari takes more effort, but the rewards are incredible, both for observers and for the car living its purpose.  So, too, the genius, allowed to FULLY express his genius, will benefit not only humanity, but also will be much more healthy mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Now, what does this mean for the parent of a genius?  It means the brain of the child needs input.  It is necessary to feed it what it needs.  The good thing is that the child knows what it needs to dwell on for the most part:  the child will usually seek out what his mind is craving.  You do not have to teach, say, Renaissance art or nuclear physics.  You just need to provide the ability for the child to teach himself or be tutored.  Library, the internet (for example, free classes from Open Courseware), local universities, online tutoring, all can provide the fuel that the child needs.  He needs understanding, support, encouragement, and access—all these are things you can easily provide.

Now, you can also guide your little sports car onto good roads.  He will know how to learn, but he is still a regular human in many respects such as emotional growth.  You can be like the driver, steering him away from bad roads (which can be anything from poor choices, disrespectful behavior, superiority complexes, anxiety, etc) and help him stay on good mental roads of exploration, discovery, invention.

Truly it is as simple as “Tell me what you are working on…it looks neat!”.  Allow the child to take time (often much time!) to explain everything about his project or thought or dream or writing.  Ask “What is this for?  What does that mean?” and at the end praise him for his work, even if you do not know exactly what it was.  He needs to know you are in his corner, not critiquing him.  Ask him too if there is anything he needs from you.  These sorts of easy builders of a strong mind take nothing but a little time and interest and reap incredible rewards.

If you are the Outlier and you are in a job that is stifling, the temptation is for me to say "Well, get another job!"  However, the realities of our economy (and the ability that our brains have) often preclude us just "doing something different".

So how to manage if you are an adult Outlier?  First of all, remember that you are more than your brain.  You might find that your job is not intellectually challenging but hits your spiritual or emotional or physical buttons.  For example, if you are a carpenter, you have a lot of time with manual labor, which feeds the brain with blood from exercise, plus fresh air and stimulation.  That can work very much in your favor when you get home.

Or if you are a mom who stays at home, talking to 5 year olds is not the most intellectually challenging task you have, however, there is such an inherent nobility and a precious responsibility in raising another human.  True, your brain might feel mushy from time to time, but your heart and spirit will be glowingly strong if you are diligent in your work.

In any case, if you cannot change your work, change your hobbies.  Instead of vegging out to Netflix or Thursday Night Football, consider using your down time to do your stuff.  Work your "patent office" job during the day, the brain does not have to be constantly entertained as a little bit of monotony helps give it room to create (which is why our best ideas are in the shower or the car), and let your brilliance fly when you have taken care of your responsibilities.

**Note:  why don't we give the advice of (plow during the day and glow at night) to parents of Outlier children?  Because children do not have the perspective, emotional growth or stability, or practices metacognition that adults do.  Plus, the greatest amount of learning takes place as a child and we want that little brain as fed as possible.  Adults are much less likely to just "spontaneously" develop anxieties, but children have not (and often cannot) learned how to deal with the Ferrari brain--it just needs to GO and LEARN.

Plus, to be honest, most of us would love the freedom childhood gives to develop our best selves.